Varjoalitajunta

Non-binary trans nerd living in a studio apartment. Thoughts, pictures, happiness and bits of anxiety. Peeking into my cultural consuming.

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Very much alive

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu kuukausi sitten

This tweet (aka sneaky hint that plane tickets had been purchased) pretty much speeded up a spiral in my life. A spiral of discomfort and disconnect with all social media. It also kicked really exciting, yet nervous, month of waiting. It was like my cells didnt know which way to turn, to be,

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IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE READING…

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu kuukausi sitten

...PLEASE TELL ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. Long story short right from the beginning: Im going to make this blog ½ private, which means that I need to allow you (by your email address) to continue reading this blog. You can give me your email by commenting on this post (itll be visible for everyone…

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Nerdy week

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 2 kuukautta sitten

Ropecon 2017 passed by, and as 4th time in a row I was there spending full on nerdy saturday. The day went really fast; eating, watching hall cosplay competition, listening someone from The Finnish Museum of Games tell a bit about it and playing board games (including our silly tradition:

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Strawberries and laughter

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 2 kuukautta sitten

3 liters of strawberries, brownies, ice-cream, good food, movies (including Spirit!), geocaches, little bit of shopping in the city, warmth and rain, lots of laughter, YouTube, TV, cozy atmosphere and my dear big sister Sari. Thats what my last sunday-wednesday was made of. Miss you

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"Why do you love writing?"

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 3 kuukautta sitten

Almost all of us know how to communicate through talking or writing. Imagine art form which always walks hand in hand with you no matter where you go - so many have access to it, yet many dont even really see it. Its like an invisible art, melody which only some people have the skill of seeing…

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Helsinki Pride 2017

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 3 kuukautta sitten

Last weeks saturday was something special; I went to my 2nd (Helsinki) Pride event, but this was the first time I went as openly non-binary. Even wearing the nb flag around my shoulders (as far as Im aware I was the only one with that flag)! This year was also the first year that the pride parade…

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Gamer, wha-?

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 3 kuukautta sitten

On monday afternoon I headed to Helsinki, to meet brother and to do a little going around the city and + to hunt down external USB sound card thingy to plug my headset into, that I dont need to plug/unplug it every time I use it on PC. So, basically got my gamer gear a bit updated. Also I was going…

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Night owl

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 4 kuukautta sitten

Its been really nice to notice there has been nothing marked on my calendar for this or the last week. I cant actually even remember the last time I had so much proper spare time. With that Ive totally lost the track of reasonable sleeping, but luckily reasonable is relative. Ive found myself up…

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Why is the time always gone?

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 4 kuukautta sitten

I feel like lots of things happened last week. I woke up on monday morning, for some reason I didnt slept properly even tho I had reserved that night for myself to be alone. I took off to visit brother. He had purchased Doctor Strange which he wanted to show me, and I even quite liked it at the…

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Motley dreams (and news)

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 4 kuukautta sitten

I see a dream where a friend of mine murders my whole family after lying that were together. I see a dream where we escape Michael Myers. I see a dream about mysterious labyrinth house that me and my childhood family move in; demons lure in the corners, clones walk on ceilings, have cut open…

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The Gender Tag

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

Im re-answering to Ashley Wyldes The Gender Tag Project 1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?I go by non-binary. It means that Im neither male nor female.2. What pronouns honor you?They/them, luckily Finnish has only one for everyone.3. Describe the…

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Comeback of the paper hat

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

When you dont know what to wear.. just wear everything darling.Oh yeah I havent worn that paper hat since summer 2012.. I kind of got tired of it being just a decoration.There has been days when Ive only opened up my mouth to speak English - makes me wonder how much my life has changed. Developing…

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Such a happy raccoon

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

Yesterday I saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, which in my opinion was even better than the first one. Its still making me happy. I joked that the movie should start with Rocket, and also end with him on the screen.. I got the second one, so..! + the amount of music it has in it! Also it was super…

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Blueheart

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

Deep conversation go all the way to the night, my heart feels like itll burst in half cause of all the emotions. I feel like Ive been emotionally open, my body receives and feels shivers, energy waves and even is on the edge of tears sometimes just cause it can. Ive been feeling a lot of myself and…

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Standing on my own two feet

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

In a way Ive been less online; Ive consumed media but I have stood back from speaking myself. I want to take more space to myself and realize where my heart is, and that my home is actually in my heart no matter where I am. Ive fully internalized that time is the most valuable thing a person can…

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What about.. self-care?

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

Well, I went to physiotherapy for the first time, and I want to tell a little bit about it. First I want to admit that I was skeptic would it help me at all, since so far Ive had my own ways and tricks to manage with my wrist - I started to have problems with it back at trade school, and it havent…

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Sweet weekend

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 5 kuukautta sitten

My good friend Sari came to visit. We baked 18 delicious super chocolaty muffins (and of course ate all of em!), shopped new coats for both of us (youll probably see mine in pics in the future), went out for walks, watched cute movie (pssst, watch Billy Elliot) and so many extremely hilarious…

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Disguise everything

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 6 kuukautta sitten

Lately Ive felt mentally drained.I see weird dreams. I feel like I keep disappointing people; time passes by and I cough up that I want to keep my independence. Things end up eating me from the inside. I feel like in reality my identity as a whole takes huge space no matter do I want it or not. I…

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Green note

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 6 kuukautta sitten

Today have been a good day. I did my deed and voted in the local elections. Saw a friend again, walked around while having casual and good conversations.Overall this week has passed quite nicely. On wednesday it rained, so I stayed indoors and opened up a chocolate bar that had been waiting me for…

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The shadow

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 6 kuukautta sitten

I feel like my brain has been divided in half, my right side feels pain and it feels heavy, the left side is the happy and real version of me, but Ive been left in the middle ground where everything feels like nothing. Ive gone too distant from the left side of me that feels light, the shadow in me…

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Gettin' active

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 6 kuukautta sitten

On wednesday I was a bit of a green thumb, since I doubled the amount of plant pots I have on my windowshill. I originally had one plant, then while I lived back at my parents it doubled itself. Last spring I got my third. Now, all of a sudden, I have a total of six of em and two of em consist two…

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Pastel sky

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 6 kuukautta sitten

Hey yall. My head has been feeling like its in the middle of some swift. Its weird to think about how little you actually knew yourself a year ago, or even a month ago. I think its extremely important to be constantly evolving, and to not to be scared of growing and changing. Its also important to…

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1826 days of poetry

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 7 kuukautta sitten

Henkäys5 years ago today my poem site was officially born. At the moment it has 608 published poems, so on average it seems that I write a poem on every third day. This has only been the first hand full of its journey - well see what the future

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Coming out - thoughts & telling

Varjoalitajunta
Julkaistu 7 kuukautta sitten

(probably read the actual Coming out post before this)First of all I want to clarify that Im changing the course of plans: Im not writing about my past as part of this coming out thing. I simply found it too hard to write about, since its actually been surprisingly long process (the first signs…

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